just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
Randomize