The best revenge is premature balding
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
Randomize
