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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Randomize
