Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
Randomize
