Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
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