Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
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