i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
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