Don't you send me to vm
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Randomize
