this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
You were trust falling into bushes
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
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