Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
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