just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
Randomize
