dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
I wish life had little blips of pornography
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
