Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
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