Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize