I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
Randomize
