How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
Brb crying the tears of my youth
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
You left your phone here
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