remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
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