thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
Randomize