i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
I use my feet as sexual weapons
Randomize
