have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
So I hogged the stall at Denny's for so long that a little kid shit his pants and ran crying to his mother. Am I a terrible person for this being the proudest moment of my life?
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
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