what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
There's always time for handjobs
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
Randomize
