id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
Randomize
