how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
Randomize
