forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
Randomize
