I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
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