so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize
