My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
