in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
Randomize
