Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
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