i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Randomize
