she looked like the bat from fern gully.
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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