I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
Randomize
