Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
You're a waste of cheezeits
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
