You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
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