I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
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