So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
You can't just leave with hair like that
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
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