I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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