I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
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