I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
Randomize
