do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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