If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
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