We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
Randomize
