before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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