Me too!
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
Randomize
