TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
Randomize