so explain again why im purple
no
I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
Randomize