Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
