maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize