i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
