You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
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