So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
