**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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