I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
