I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
Randomize
