is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
Randomize
