She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
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