And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
Randomize
