i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize