Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
Blow job season was short but glorious.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
Randomize