Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
Randomize
