I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
