I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
Randomize