HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
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