Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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