i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
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