Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
Randomize
