I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
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