I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
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