normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
Randomize
