I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
Randomize
