new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
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