did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
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