I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
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