I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
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