i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
I'm both gender and math confused
Randomize