I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
Randomize
