so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
What a fucking waste of an outfit
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
Randomize
