Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
Randomize
