You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Randomize
