are you still at the devil's house?
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
