You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
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